Back in 2012 I wasn’t feeling well. I wasn’t physically ill you know with symptoms of a cold. But it was my 3rd time that week calling into work because I just didn’t want to go and didn’t feel like being bothered. I was at home, late in the day, I hadn’t ate anything and hadn’t done anything to myself. I lived alone at this season in my life so no one knew what I was doing or how I felt. I had the TV on and an infomercial comes on… The cartoon figure was acting like me, I saw myself with great clarity it was a surreal moment. The product being advertised was an anti-depressant medicine. I got up and thought is that what’s wrong with me? Is this what Depression looks like and feels like? I had never had a real conversation about what Depression was. I was 26 years old… I had stuff going on in my life but that wasn’t anything new for me with what I came from, however in that moment I realized I needed help. I’ve felt this way before but I was able to snap back and do life. This was not the case, I wasn’t as resilient this time. Seeing that commercial was a sign from God. I’ve lived through some things to know that God used that commercial at that moment to lead me in the right direction. I was saved, attended church often, an active and supportive member of the congregation. Yet, I was feeling so low and discouraged… when I had to go out in public settings I would put on a mask, perform to seem normal and then go back home and get back in that dark place.
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The next day I decided to reach out to someone I trusted and told her what I was feeling. She suggested I go see a counselor. I’m so grateful to this day that she opened up to me about how she had to go to a counselor before and it’s good to go and take care of yourself. She told me that’s another form of taking care of yourself. That never left me. I ended up going to counseling and was diagnosed with Depression. I eventually started going to Christian based group counseling sessions and it was life changing. I was introduced to the concept of telling my story and how therapeutic it was. I haven’t stopped doing that either, I realized telling my truth and my testimony will help others and me simultaneously. I do this very thing annually thru my blog site threeeblog.com, Evaluate, Evolve, and Elevate. I just started doing this every year for my birthday and it became a thing. I wasn’t trying, it just happened.
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After the awareness of Mental Health and learning recently that I’ve had a mood disorder, it’s changed my perspective on me. I’m not so hard on myself anymore and extend much grace to not only myself but to others because it can be difficult at times learning how to change your habits. However, God is able! I am an advocate of Christians seeking counsel from licensed professionals along with attending church, prayer, reading God’s Word, and meditation. I couldn’t figure out why I was stuck in that season of my life, I didn’t know I was suffering with depression. God used an infomercial to get my attention, He knows and He cares.
